The overwhelming feeling of being able to hear them live again honestly made me want to cry with joy in a non-fangirl way. I suppose I outgrew my fangirl stage and was there simply to enjoy the music, the lyrics. It was never about Brandon's half naked body or something like it for me. As I sat there waiting, I was reminded of March 12, 2004 - where I was sitting on the curb outside of CCP's complex, wishing, waiting, wanting to get in on time. I was writing about Incubus on my arm and leg.
I guess this was somewhat symbolic of how I would give my arm and leg just to experience them live. I was 14 back then and was singing Pantomime at the back of my head.
Now here I was, 18 and observing - inches away from the stage, placing each member on their respective places. Mike on his guitar, making love to his pedals. Kilmore jumping and bopping his head on his kitchen sink that is his turn tables. Jose gripping onto his drumsticks, slamming onto the cymbals as if his life depended on it. Ben smiling while looking out onto the crowd that embraces his new but relatively old bass experimentations. Lastly, Brandon who would act like an animal high on the euphoria that is the screaming of vast crowds. I scribbled the date down onto my chucks, MARCH 09, 2008. Inspiration redifined.
As people threw their hands up in the air, I balanced myself up on a seat I would jump on and I would sooner than later scream until I tasted my own blood in my mouth. Skeptical to hear the Light Grenades set, I paused for a bit - took a deep breath and actually listened to how this experimentation would rape me. I opened my eyes and smiled at how this was reminscent of what made me love Incubus some 10 years ago - their love for raw music and how their instruments seem to rip every gut in my body and how their lyrics seer into my soul.
I was off key singing to their songs, I felt like I murdered them but there was a part of me that didn't care and just kept on singing. There's always a satisfying feeling of being able to sing every song, released or unreleased, correctly unlike the girl beside you who just kept on saying "BRANDON" at the top of her fangirlish lungs. It is quite hard to sing and scream all at the same time.
As I called the people that mattered in order to give them a sense of live-ity (I made-up the word, so sue me) I honestly wished they could have been there. I knew how much Incubus mattered to them, how their love quite possible transcended beyond Brandon Boyd's abs. I wish they were there instead of the recieving end of my phone call, screaming and thrashing about their rooms like crazy people - careful or not caring to wake people up.
I feel honored and ovewhelmed at exactly how lucky I feel to be able to watch them once again. For them to have chosen to grace the Philippines with their music - we certainly made an impression on them, a good one I'm sure.
As the crowd bursts out and sing along to Wish You Were Here - I remember the voice of a good friend of mine who I lost to tragedy sing along. He loved this song, I loved this song. Hearing it live was different from hearing it on my iPod. As Brandon gave the mic to the crowd - I sang, eyes closed, half smiling, hands raised - and in this moment I am happy.
Til the next time. Kudos.